Prussian Tribe

A/N: This has no plot. It's pure crack. You will lose brain cells. I know I did while writing this. Also, I was writing this while listening to African tribal music. Made me feel pumped to write this. Y'all should too if you want. :3 The beginning isn't very interesting. xD;; Sorry. And I don't mean to offend any of my more ethnical readers. This was just for fun and is meant in no way to make fun of culture.

Oh, and this is my first fanfic. Be nice!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

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The morning sun shone brightly in the sky. No clouds visible anywhere. Today was perfect. Today was the day. Gilbert, being his oh so awesome self, decided it was about time to kill two birds with one stone. Figuratively of course. Not like he would ever kill any of his precious little chicks.

He woke up feeling awesome. Opening a window, he stripped himself completely, completely unabashed and grinning like a maniac (which wasn't too far off the mark). Hell, who didn't want to see his awesome glory? Only stuffy aristocrats who need to get laid, that's who. The Prussian stopped and thought for a moment. "Well, it wouldn't be a bad idea…" He shook his head. "Nah… Save that for some other time." He snickered and turned around. It's time to get ready for the big event.

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Roderich was surprised that morning. It was quiet. No annoying wake-up calls, no pranks, no Prussians, no naked Prussians. All was calm and peaceful. He sighed and sat up. The clock read a little passed nine. Perfect time for some early minuets. He slowly got out of bed, dressed himself in presentable clothes, and walked calmly to the music room.
Just as he entered the immaculate room, there was an odd smell wafting from an open window. The Austrian cautiously walked across the room to look outside the window. He sorely regretted his choice of action.

There, in the front of his house, was a small, burning fire and a boom box placed a safe distance away from it, blaring fast-tempo tribal music at its fullest volume. He was slightly relieved by the rocks around the fire that kept it from spreading. But what he was really worried about was the more-than-half-naked Prussian dancing around it.

He looked like an utter buffoon. There Gilbert was, hopping, kicking, and swinging his arms around the fire like a madman, surrounded by his flock of birds. He was barefoot and some sort of tribal decoration around his wrists, ankles, and neck. His face and chest were covered in a shiny colorful paint. He wore a extremely short grass skirt, too small to even cover anything. Not that he wanted to see what was under there, of course…

And right on cue, their eyes met and he froze in place. Standing in a normal position, he smirked and ripped the skirt off in one quick motion. Underneath was a sparkly, leopard print speedo that forever burned in Roderich's memory. Gilbert then quickly resumed his tribal dance as if nothing happened, utterly satisfied with his work.

Gilbert grinned contently as he scarred the Austrian. "I should really do this more often, huh Roddy?" His birds chirped happily and followed their owner back home.

Ever so slowly, Roderich closed his window, and closed the drapes.

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